


Reality

by aishahiwatari



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, First Kiss, Getting Together, Love at First Sight, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:48:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23575675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishahiwatari/pseuds/aishahiwatari
Summary: At this stage of the game, Leonard is too exhausted to really care what he could win, and regretting his participation more with every moment that passes.Through sheer force of will, he picks himself up for the last guy of the day. He stands tall, smiles and waves, as the poor sap is brought out, all flirtatious winks and a beaming smile and holy shit, those have to be contacts, don’t they? Nobody’s eyes are really that blue.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Comments: 32
Kudos: 165





	Reality

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lokilenchen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokilenchen/gifts).



> A gift for Annalena, who is more productive than the rest of the USS McKirk Discord put together, and a wonderful ray of sunshine.
> 
> Loosely based on the format of British "dating" show Take Me Out.
> 
> Now with incredible cover art by the amazing [Sobre](https://lejoursobre.tumblr.com/), who creates wonderful Star Trek art and deserves so much love.

The gameshow works like this:

Thirty “contestant” men stand in a rough semi-circle, each behind podiums that light up, all of which have a button on top that will turn off that light. A further “player” man is brought into the studio to be talked at by the aggravatingly charismatic presenter, Chris Pike. Together they whittle down those thirty men to one, with each contestant switching off the light on their podium if they see something they didn’t like. In the final round (if the poor bastard makes it that far with any podiums still lit) he gets to come down and switch off some lights himself, until there are only two contestants left.

After a final question, he chooses between those two and then that one remaining goes on a date with the player. On a Caribbean island.

At this stage of the game, Leonard is too exhausted to really care what he could win, and regretting his participation more with every moment that passes.

It wasn’t like he’d been convinced at any point that he was going to enjoy it. If it weren’t for all the charity money he would have walked out a long time ago, but he suspects Chapel knows this and she’s sending him daily updates with the new total to keep him motivated.

He hadn’t even expected them to accept his application, typed by Chapel during a three am lull in patients and containing a little exaggeration but no outright lies, certainly nothing to suggest he’d be any kind of decent reality show contestant. This is a dating show, and it takes all sorts, and Leonard can turn on the charm when he needs to, and okay, yes, he does look good in a suit-

But he’s not the vibrant life of the party, or desperate to be the centre of attention like every single other person on this damn show seems to be.

And there are so many of them, all standing on stage behind podiums that are lit up white or red depending on whether they’d like to date the poor sap paraded in front of them.

At least the paraded man gets a say too, provided they’re left with more than one option by the end. The presenter asks some of the contestants a few questions each. Leonard had always wondered how everyone on the show seems to be so damn witty, and he gets his answer. He spends hours upon hours standing behind his podium, smiling and winking and waving on cue in between listening to some of the least amusing, inane banter he’s ever heard, stuff that will definitely never make it to air.

Leonard held his own on the two occasions he was asked questions. A couple of his funnier ones might even make the cut.

The show presenter is a surprisingly eloquent and charming man himself, frankly the only one Leonard would have considered going home with on any other day, had he not had a lengthy conversation with him during rehearsal that revealed Leonard has actually worked with his husband, a very well-respected doctor.

At no point has Leonard made it past round four. He’s ruled most of these ridiculous men out for himself, but round four allows the player to switch his light off for him. Two made it that far and dismissed him without a second glance, their attention already elsewhere. Leonard wasn’t too disappointed.

Although, if he got a date, at least he’d be allowed to leave. He’s been here for a week, filming three episodes a day. He’s sweating under the studio lights, his feet are sore, his back is aching and he’s more convinced of his own abnormality than ever. Everyone else seems to be enjoying this with a borderline frightening intensity. He can’t wait to go home and collapse on the couch with a bottle of bourbon.

Through sheer force of will, he picks himself up for the last guy of the day. He stands tall, smiles and waves, as the poor sap is brought out, all flirtatious winks and a beaming smile and holy shit, those have to be contacts, don’t they? Nobody’s eyes are really that blue.

“Hi everyone. Good to see you. You all look great,” the guy says, and Leonard’s one from the far end so not even noticeable by his position, and he feels that gaze skim over him like he’s not even there. “My name’s Jim, and I’m from Riverside in Iowa.”

Huh. Nothing outright offensive in that, and the contestants have been told to give the guys a reasonable chance.

All the lights stay on, that round. Jim is gorgeous, to be fair.

A couple of the other contestants are asked what they think of him. He visibly preens at anything that could be remotely construed as a compliment, and somehow manages to come across as charming rather than obnoxious.

He is very, very good-looking, Leonard muses, while some of the others answer. Comfortable in front of the camera, too. And some lovely toned shoulders beneath that tight, white tee.

“Well, I’m pretty good with numbers. Why don’t you give me yours and we’ll see what I can do with it?” is the best of a very bad lot of appalling lines, and Pavel, the guy to Leonard’s immediate right, even manages to pull it off. The accent probably helps.

They play a kind of introductory video, next. Shots of Jim in a playground, leaning against the bars of a jungle gym, with the voiceover, “I’m able to be here right now because school’s out. I’m a kindergarten teacher, so if we go for dates in the evening I’ll be exhausted but covered in glitter.

“I enjoy a good game. One on one, so we can each see what the other is made of. Or in a team. I’m always willing to fight at your side, or back you up.” Jim’s shown playing soccer, chess and some kind of video game, although the teammates he lauds are never shown in any detail.

“On my days off, I like to get away. See new places. Meet new people. I’m always up for an adventure, or a new experience. But if you want to come with, you’ll be jumping on the back of my motorcycle.”

Leonard very nearly turns his light off. A couple of the other guys do. He’s not really sure why he doesn’t, tells himself that it doesn’t matter anyway. Jim’s not going to pick him.

He looks far too good in leather. Leonard tells himself that it’s his proper use of protective equipment that appeals.

“Well, you won’t need the motorcycle to drive me crazy.” Hikaru, over the other side, comments.

Leonard resists the urge to put his head in his hands. Barely.

Scotty gets one in, too: “If you’re into computers, well, call me Microsoft. I’d love to crash at your place.”

Astoundingly, it makes Jim laugh, and he even manages to retort, with barely a pause, “How about we skip the turning off and I’ll just turn you on again, and again.”

Leonard hates everything.

There are two ways the next round can go. Sometimes there’s a video with some comments from the player’s loved ones, lamenting some perceived flaw in their personality. Or they demonstrate a skill.

Turns out Jim can sing. Like, actually sing, and he’s a born performer. Leonard has a sinking suspicion that, “I knew you were trouble when you walked in,” is in fact an excerpt from a song by Taylor Swift but he’s too caught up in Jim’s impossible radiance to hit his button.

His light is still on as they come into the fourth round.

Leonard is annoyed with himself for being impressed by and a little attracted to Jim. He has a lot of traits that Leonard finds himself helplessly seeking out despite all his previous relationship mistakes; so confident he borders on being cocky; gorgeous and aware of it but not an ass about it; more intelligent than he lets on, and able to hold his own in a conversation without dominating it.

It’s very inconvenient they first encountered one another like this; Leonard looks good, but everyone else has made an effort too, and Jim has twenty-four guys to choose from, all of whom are more enthusiastic and animated than Leonard is, at this late stage of the day. Frankly he’s already thinking about what to eat for dinner, but he’s contractually obliged to show some interest.

Jim has been unleashed on the remaining contestants, is running back and forth, keeping the suspense up as he switches off the lights of people he’s not interested in dating. What that’s based on, beyond limited exposure to their appearance, fashion sense and appalling lines, is anyone’s guess.

Leonard’s light is still on, so he’s technically in with a chance, but he hasn’t received so much as a glance yet, and at his side is Pavel, who’s gorgeous, and who has been allowed the opportunity to show off his wit. Leonard likes him. They share a dressing room and they’ve had drinks in the hotel bar, and Leonard doesn’t understand why they don’t just make a reality show about that and save them all some hassle.

When Jim comes back to their side of the line-up, he’s flushed and breathless from all the running around, and he winks at Pavel as he reaches for the button on Leonard’s podium, and then he finally looks up.

Leonard can all-but hear the apology, except their eyes meet and Jim is stunning, his cheeks pink, his hair a mess, and those eyes, fuck. It’s like time stands still, just for them, just to really rub it in, maybe, that what Leonard wants, he just can’t have.

None of that internal crisis is meant to show in Leonard’s face but his façade cracks because nothing else has so much as slowed. The music plays on. The audience are cheering. Pavel is staring.

But Jim is stuck, too, so goddamn beautiful it’s not even fair. He doesn’t seem to be able to tear himself away, manages a soft, hesitant smile and a, “Hi.”

Leonard can’t even speak, just swallows, and Jim’s gaze ticks down to track the movement of his throat, and then he reaches out to the side and hits the button to switch off Pavel’s light.

The audience goes nuts. Pavel is torn between incredulity and delight. Leonard’s heart skips a beat and he feels like he might cry. Maybe he’s just delusional, believing in love at first sight, because even if it does exist, it’s not going to happen to him.

But Jim walks away with what appears to be genuine difficulty, and backwards at first so they can hold eye contact for as long as possible. Leonard has maybe stopped breathing, but the rest of the world floods back in when that thread between them snaps, Jim sauntering back up to Chris, who looks like he might demand an explanation.

This was not part of anyone’s plan, and with the stark reality of the television studio all around him -people are watching, and more will when this broadcasts; the lights are so bright; the music so loud- Leonard’s on the verge of panic.

They still have to play the game. They’ll spin this to the will of the producers in the edit, but for now Jim finds impressive and enviable resolve, exchanges some friendly ribbing with Chris, and asks both Leonard and whoever the fuck else is left, “If you were a variety of soup, which one would you be?”

Oh, the other remaining contestant is Hikaru, all the way over on the other side. He’s a nice guy. Leonard likes him, even before he replies, “Why are you even asking me? We all just saw what happened. Pick him!”

Jim is flushed red, appropriately embarrassed but laughing, good-natured and apparently thrilled by the attention.

He turns to Leonard then too, and this is not remotely in keeping with the format of the show, and the producers are going to be pissed they didn’t script it. “What do you say? Go on a date with me?”

They send them to a Caribbean island as part of the show but Leonard would eat out of a dumpster down a dark alley in the rain if that was what Jim wanted to do.

He says as much, and everyone laughs. Hikaru presses the button to switch his own light off, and then Jim reaches out and this whole thing has been a convoluted mess of poor decisions but Leonard’s about to make another. He steps out from behind his podium, walks up like his legs aren’t shaking and takes Jim’s hand. It’s warm and strong and certain. Leonard is only one of those things.

But Chris is- surprisingly kind to him. Maybe he considers them to have made a sufficient spectacle of themselves because he allows them to walk away and off-camera, hand-in-hand with minimal quizzing. Leonard doesn’t doubt they’ll be making up for that later.

He'd thought if he got a date he’d just be grateful to be off that stage. Instead, he’s- kind of looking forward to this. They can’t really talk to each other, but Jim offers him a sweet smile, with much less of the confident façade, when the cameras aren’t focused on his expression.

“I’ll see you soon,” he says, too, when they’re herded in different directions before they can spoil any of the mystery the crew wants to see on their first date.

“I wasn’t sure about this whole experience. But I like him. I think this could go well,” Leonard tells the camera with minimal coaxing, all they need for the feature.

Then they tell him that his flight to the island is at 3am and he produces nothing suitable for broadcast, after that.

-

“I need to tell you something,” Jim hisses.

“Uhh-“ Leonard says, in response to the fact he’s just been hauled into an airport bathroom cubicle and pressed up against the wall so that the door will close, more than in relation to the words themselves.

“Yeah, sorry. The crew will not leave me alone. I shouldn’t be here.”

Now, Leonard didn’t get any sleep. He’s exhausted, jet-lagged and confused, and he’s preparing for rejection.

Jim wilts a little in response to his deeply unimpressed glare. “I know, okay? But I’m not- this guy. They had a cancellation and I stood in at the last minute as a favour.”

That- makes a surprising amount of sense, actually. Jim’s video featured him wearing the same outfit, and with none of the teammates he so lauded. His routine included no props beyond a microphone.

Leonard pushes down the ever-present doubts, no matter that this seems to be confirming the worst of them; that he is just not destined to meet anyone he might actually both want to, and be able to date, ever again. “So, what? You want me to play along ‘til it’s time to go home?”

“No! Fuck. No. I- didn’t expect to look into the eyes of a stranger and- fall. I don’t believe in that shit. These shows are pure trash. I thought I’d get a day out and a free lunch with someone I wanted to let down gently. That was all. I’m just not that guy I was for the camera. It’s not fair of me to lead you on but if I say any of this in front of the cameras, Chris will get in trouble for bringing me on the show in the first place. I’m just asking you to blame me, if this isn’t what you wanted.”

“I was sick the day of a bachelor auction I signed up for. The only way I could raise that money for the hospital was by doing this show. I- didn’t think I’d meet anyone I wanted to have a conversation with, let alone-“ Leonard trails off, looking at Jim, who is a hopeful puppy still in yesterday’s shirt and somehow getting even more perfect by the minute.

“So- island date, then back to real life, and- maybe I could call you?”

“I’d like that.”

“Smile for the cameras,” Jim reminds him, and they leave the bathroom to uproar from the production team, who wanted to capture the moment of their reunion.

They try some scripted dramatic shots, but Leonard and Jim are too busy staring at each other to concentrate. It should probably be embarrassing, but Leonard’s enjoying himself, loving their little secret. Whenever they’re allowed to actually speak to each other, the conversation flows. They’re fantastic together. It’s like some kind of impossible dream.

“So where d’you wanna go when we get back?” Jim’s asking, as they sit at a table outside a cocktail bar on the beach with drinks next to them that they’re not allowed to sip yet, because they’ll ruin the visual. Jim takes Leonard’s hand over the table instead and they both ignore the circling camera crew trying to get the best angle on it.

“Nowhere. I wanna eat pizza together on the couch and watch the furthest thing possible from reality television.”

What they’re saying doesn’t matter to anyone but them; they’re going to play music over it anyway. Someone tells them to get closer and they’re too grateful for the excuse to object.

“At your place? It’s a date.”

They are definitely closer. It’s not a big table. It would take so little for Leonard to just lean in, his intent clear. He’s doing it without thinking, and Jim is too and they intently ignore whoever the fuck is trying to tell them how best to kiss. It’s probably a horrible shot, poor lighting, an unflattering position, but nothing has ever felt like Jim’s lips against his, soft and warm, like coming home and a revelation all at once. Like he’s being lit up from the inside. It’s not perfect, not by a long way, but Leonard can’t wait for more.

Someone says, “Can you guys do it again? It didn’t look spontaneous enough.”

“Yeah,” Leonard says, to Jim’s surprise and barely suppressed delight. “I think we can manage that.”

He’s never been happier to follow a direction in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m also on [Tumblr](https://aishahiwatari.tumblr.com/)


End file.
